Here’s what happened when I finally asked for help

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October 1, 2013 – was a red-letter day for me. Hay House published my book Play Your Bigger Game!

And to think it almost didn’t happen.

I had convinced myself that I would never have a book published with a major publishing house. I didn’t understand the process and the whole idea was overwhelming. I would visit Amazon and see literally thousands of self-help related books. I thought, “Who in the world would want to read mybook?”

I created a story that I didn’t have a book in me: “I’m much more comfortable speaking than I am writing. What publisher would want my book?” I stayed with that self-limiting story for a long time, even though friends and allies encouraged me to create an inspirational guide for playing your Bigger Game.

I love to inspire others and yet a few years ago I was afraid to ask for help and actually practice what I preach!

One day I finally reached out to Adora English, a friend and former television producer who now serves as a media-savvy consultant.

“I’m ready to take the Bigger Game to the world,” I told her.

“I’ve been waiting years for this call,” Adora said.

That one fateful phone call set everything in motion. Adora has proven to be the best ally possible. You see, it turns out that there are many people out there whose mission is to assist would-be authors in moving past the “would-be” stage.

Once I was clear and set the intention, things began to fall into place. First, someone to actually help me get my thoughts onto paper. Then a literary agent. Then Hay House. In a strange sort of way, it all came together quite nicely and easily. It flowed. Now, this was over a 2-year period, but nonetheless, magic seemed to happen all around me!

Looking back, that whole process taught me (finally!) that the fear of asking for help is really silly and self-defeating. We get so wrapped up in not wanting to look silly that we actually do something stupid – we give up.

In a blunt and honest assessment of myself, I’d have to ask how a guy who travels the world offering help to others could be afraid to ask for help.

The lesson here is to tell the truth to your allies even if you won’t accept it for yourself. In my heart, I knew my book needed to be expressed; I was just too afraid to admit that I didn’t know how to do it.

A huge part of playing your Bigger Game is accepting that you don’t need the how; the game will take care of that.

Nothing breaks my heart more these days, as I get a bit older, than to see dreams die because we don’t ask for help.

What are you not expressing that you are deeply compelled to create?

It is so time to BOLDLY ask for help to make it real.  Let me know what you’re compelled to create (a.k.a. step #1 – share your idea with the world). Respond here.

More to come-


  • Dave Bahr Reply

    Rick, as usual, a very compelling piece of wisdom wrapped in truth and vulnerability. I recall being with you at your 2018 Bigger Game conference and you said something like, “you hate asking for help, but you just need to ask, damnit!” I smiled and admitted rather sheepishly that you were correct. I think the fear of asking for help is, at its core, a fear of the unknown. The “what will happen” syndrome. To use another metaphor, if you swim in the ocean, will you find calm waters, or waters filled with sharks? Judgement or perceived judgement can also be another reason to not ask for help. The interesting thing that I find when I ask for help is the realization that the help I needed usually was not nearly as difficult as I made it out to be in my fearful mind.

    • Rick Tamlyn Reply

      Love hearing from you Dave…..and it all comes down to that key question which usually does not serve, “Do I have wha it takes?” That answer is usually dark hole of a waste of time. The more serving question always is, “What am I committed to here with my work?” Commitment oriented questions drive our life faster, rather than what I coin as “self worth questions.” Sending you great vibes and big dreams that your good work continues to go out into your world. Best always Dave. Rick T.

  • Penni Blythe Reply

    After ten years and some extraordinarily traumatic and amazing life events (that feels like lifetimes) I have set my intention to birth my “Women of Wit, Wisdom & Wonder” project. A live and multifaceted presentation+…. Written and illustrated narratives and commentary – the essence of lives in performance with song, movements, storytelling – each performance will include a woman (or women) sewing (adding pieces to a growing “story quilt”.

    Truthfully Im shaking as I write this, with tears….. I have asked for help. Help has been offered before I even asked. I have said ‘no’ to other opportunities to clear the decks for this. Now I need to apply my courage for stories/ messages untold

  • Rick Tamlyn Reply

    Hi Penni– I LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing of your Bigger Game/Quest work or whatever else you want to call it being MADE REAL. Dreams do need a form….and you form sounds super fun and so aligned with who you are and what you are about. U will questions yourself daily about this work…that is a part of what it means to play a Bigger Game….and what will keep you in the game is your compelling purpose or your BIG WHY. Loved seeing you on our call this past week…..sending you great love, light and ease as you continue to bring your good message and work to our world. More to come… always, Rick T.

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