After the Global Co-Active Summit
Four “Ah-Ha” Moments That Will Forever Change Me
The Global Co-Active Summit was almost a month ago, and I find myself just now being able to articulate into words how life-changing that event was for me. I was honored to be the emcee and on the Summit design team with CTI co-founders Henry and Karen Kimsey-House.
The Summit was held at the gorgeous Meritage Resort & Spa in Napa, CA and the overall theme was that we are all leaders. Karen and Henry did a masterful job of guiding us along the path of “Me to We,” all in an effort to make our world a better place. There were thought-provoking keynotes, breakout sessions, a scavenger hunt, and lots of time for fun and networking with folks I’ve met throughout my career from around the globe.
As the emcee, I had a particular job to do, which in my mind meant that I really wouldn’t be able to sit back, relax, and enjoy the Summit as a regular participant. And that was okay with me. I was excited for this opportunity.
In reflecting back, I keep surprising myself with what I call personal “Ah-Ha” moments. The Summit really had an impact on me personally, and that was something I really didn’t think would happen. And, knowing CTI as I do, of course it would. CTI is masterful in creating learning around every bend and corner!
My Personal “Ah-Ha” Moments
The Summit Really Grew Me as a Leader
As a leader of CTI’s Leadership program, I teach others the concepts of being at full permission and being responsible for your impact. I’ve taught these concepts for years, and it was perhaps not until the Summit that I fully grasped them myself.
Standing in front of 670 people on a theatre-in-the-round stage is certainly not in my daily routine. This was the perfect setting to keep me on my toes! Talk about leadership from within, behind, beside, in front…
I experienced full permission and boy did I feel responsible for my impact. This made me feel alive and full of freedom, and to be honest more fun than I’ve had in a very long time!
This makes me think that personal growth tends to occur in situations that don’t happen regularly in life. For me, it was the theatre-in-the-round stage in front of 670 people. What might this look like for you in your world?
Living Organically is Fun!
Each time I went on stage I had a plan. Sometimes it worked. And sometimes it didn’t.
I was so aware of when things worked and when they didn’t – and what I loved most is that instead of getting caught in my normal shame-based “what I am doing wrong now” place, I stayed fully out and present and created something even more fun (at least to me!) when something did not go as planned.
There is a fine line between having a plan and letting it go when something new and in the moment wants to happen. This is the difference between living organically and living strategically. I so prefer living organically!
The opening sketch had a loose plan, yet it unfolded in a much more engaging and fun way when I asked folks from the audience to come on stage and help. This added a whole new level of co-activity with the audience that I had no idea was going to happen. They behaved brilliantly – there is no way we could have scripted that!
This is how I want to live my life way more – leaning into the creativity of others as we all co-create new ways that are far better than the original plan. I think Karen & Henry might be on to something with this whole “Me to We” thing!
It Takes Courage and a Village
And there is dark side that I must share too! In the evenings my inner self-critique would get so loud it was just amazing. I would go over everything that happened and analyze to death how it went. Did I offend anyone? Did I get all the announcements delivered? Was it fun? Boring?
As I fully expressed myself and put “it” all out on a stage for the world to see, the louder my own saboteur became. In the CTI Fulfillment workshop we train that when we fully honor our values (and in this case I was so fully honoring my value called Ellen, as in Ellen DeGeneres), the louder our own inner voice can become that says something like “you will die out there if you show up fully.” This was happening to me!
Brene Brown talks about how shame shows up on the heals of being fully exposed and vulnerable. Well, she is accurate. Fortunately I had people who I leaned into to give me straight feedback. My own inner voice distorted it to the point of destruction almost. At times I missed the joy and fun of being the emcee! Now this did not happen every night, but I can say I now have such empathy for folks who fully put themselves out there. It takes courage and it takes a village! Thank you to my personal beloved village.
It’s Time to Come Out Already!
It is time to come OUT everyone! I made a choice to be fully out on that stage. And I knew it would be risky. Let me tell you about the freedom I experienced… OMG… I want that for everyone.
We each have our own version of “coming out.” Perhaps it’s something you believe in that you think the world around you will not approve of, or something that matters to you deeply that it is so time to share.
Whatever it is, it’s time to come out about it. Whether to a large group or your intimate friends, it does not matter. What matters is that you must share it. Think about that. When you finally let it out – whatever it is – it no longer has you, and the creative freedom that comes out is just amazing. So have at it, and please come out already!
I would love to hear what you learned at the Summit, or any thoughts about what I’ve written here.
When things “worked” obviously they worked! And we loved it!
But when things didn’t work, and you created from that, we loved it even more.
We love that you are humble and real.
We love that you love life.
It makes us love life.
You make a room of 670 feel like a chat with 5 friends.
How do you do that?!!
I love reading this and being on your monthly calls these past 2 months. You keep coaching alive for me as a Coach/Teacher working with all kinds of youth age 6 -18 and beyong……I feel so blessed! I feel as though you are the main connection from my “formal days” at CTI so many years ago….I have been reconnected and I am looking forward to MORE!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart,
Thank you, Rick!
Although I was not present for the Summit, you have given me a delicious taste and lesson from your learning. Thank you!!
This lesson comes at the perfect time since biz partner, David Larson and I will be “coming out” in a new way next week, doing something brand new, and not knowing exactly what to expect. I plan on following your lead and allowing my ‘creative freedom’ to be out there. It is much more fun to ride the ride (dips and highs) rather than just stand by, do nothing, and watch in fear.
Awesome post, Rick! I particularly appreciated your comment that shame falls on the heels of vulnerability. Feeling a bit of that myself after this past leadership weekend. Trying not to replay moments in my head and instead being “with” the moment I was in. And trusting that vulnerability is the door way to greater leadership.
What a great post! You were fantastic and inspiring at the summit–you brought so much fun, laughter, playfulness, and holding to the space. Bravo, Ricky T!
I didn’t attend the formal part of the summit, and greatly enjoyed the video snippets of you that people posted on FB. It looked so masterful, playful, heartfelt, fun and definitely full permission. Thanks for sharing yourself so deeply and vulnerably, both at the summit and in this blog.
I so vote yes on living organically in the moment, on coming out to play with full permission, and on every experience growing our leadership, whether we expect it to or not.
My first thought when you shared how your saboteur came on so strongly during your “down” time was “What, Rick Tamlyn struggled with his saboteur??”, and then immediately my second thought was “Of course – we all do”.
So true that the more we play full out, the more the saboteur plays his/her version of full out. And I so vote yes on saboteurs too by the way. They are a natural part of human nature, and without them we wouldn’t be complete.
If you’re anything like me, you probably want another book to read as much as you want a hole in the head (too many books, too little time!). Yet, my urge is to share with you the book called The Big Leap.
It comes at the saboteur part of us from a totally different angle, revealing our long-held patterns of self-limiting behavior and ways of being. I had so many “Aha” moments reading it, and I use what I learned every day. It has played a huge role in my own journey toward greater ability to stay at choice even under challenging circumstances.
Namaste to you too my brother!
Hugs and love,
I was there.
And I was one of those who “came out” in my own way and stepped up on the stage with you during that opening sketch.
A truly transformational moment! I wonder if I would have done that if it had been anyone other than you there?
Thank you for waking me up, inviting me to play, and acknowledging me for doing it.